Stick a Pitchfork in Me

footypajamas
Originally uploaded by revraikes.

...I'm done. Done with X-mas. Done with running around. Done with giving lip service or trying to salvage anything about the religion this holiday represents.

I'm going Buddhist so that I can gleefully reply, "No, thank you for the invitation, but I can't make it to your Seasonal Affective Disorder hoe-down (that's right, it spells sad; they just had to name it that)."

I thought I could bring some relative coolness to this religion schlock-fest by becoming a reverend, and not being a total perv' or pretending I don't have a bung-hole. I was wrong. It's beyond duct tape. All this season and the culture it represents does is foment a guilt complex or, if you are an extrovert, rage. The latter is often channeled out as scary-manic-exuberance (a.k.a. Christmas cheer).

So, I give up. The only place that seems close to reasonable is Zen Buddhism. I mean, I tried getting into Neo-Paganism, but it's just too ritualistic. And atheism just seems as fanatical as any of the Judeo-Christian sects.

Here I am. Stone me with candy-canes and dried up, old, 12th generation fruit-cakes. I don't care. I'm handing in my resignation. Later, eternal salvation, hello illumination...